No More Running.

Apparently I’m not invincible…

Since getting “diagnosed” or whatever you want to call it I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and my conclusion is that it sucks. I was getting used to going for runs every day and exercising every day and now I’ve actually been told by a doctor I can’t do it. It’s not just me telling myself that I shouldn’t, an actual doctor has said that I can’t so there’s no way around that..

Running is the one thing that has made me feel like I’m actually loosing some weight, like I’m getting closer to my goal, and now I can’t do that. Great.

Yes, I can still walk, and yes, I can go for bike rides, but it’s not the same. I don’t know how to explain it… When I run it’s just me, my body and my thoughts. It’s the time when I clear all my thoughts and put everything in to place, when I think about all the small details that bother me at nights before I fall asleep and I organise them and fix the small problems. When it’s only me and my body I’m the one that sets the limits, I’m the one that pushes harder or relaxes a bit more, me, no one else, just me. And now I can’t do that…

I stopped running 9 days ago. These 9 days have been the worst. I fal asleep much later at night, since Wednesday I’ve had this killer headache, all my thoughts are a mess and I basically feel fat. I don’t like this feeling!

Tomorrow I am calling the doctors first thing in the morning to get an appointment asap at the physiotherapists so I can fix this stupid Chondromalacia Patellae and get to running again.


Chondromalacia Patellae.

That’s the name of what I have. What a mouthful right?

The good part? I don’t need surgery, or at least not yet! The bad part? Well for starters, it hurts. I will leave a link right here so you can go read all about it, if you’re interested, but basically it’s my kneecap (patellae in doctor language) that’s not smoothly going over my femur but it’s rubbing against it thus wearing out and tearing the cartilage.

I have been told that to fix this completely I need to do physiotherapy, which I am not to keen on, but I want to run again and this is apparently what it will take so I’m doing it. Tomorrow I’ll be calling the doctors again and hopefully be given an appointment to go there and make an appointment with a physiotherapist so I can start working on this process of getting me back out on the tracks. But yeah, no running or over-exercising my knees until then because, as anyone past 10th grade will know, cartilages don’t grow back, so if I ruin this one it’s surgery for sure and I will be damned if I don’t do everything in my power to avoid this.

Anyway, back to work!

Hospital Visits.

I’m currently sat at the parking space of St. Albans hospital.

Why you wonder? Well, today I took about 30min off work and made some phonecalls, one of them was to the doctors. They started asking me a bunch of questions and all of the sudden the lady on the other side of the line told me that I had to get to a hospital within the next two hours.

So here I am, sat in the car waiting outside of the hospital with Mr. Boss Man and C before heading in in about 20min…

Can I tell you how I feel? I am honestly terrified. After my mother talked to our PT-friend and then me talking to my mother and Mr. Boss Man about everything I am scared that after today’s appointment I will come out with another appointment, this time to have an operation on my knees.

Here’s the thing, I have never broken anything, I’ve never had to go in to hospital and, you know, had something “major” done so I am scared out of my mind. Specially with my parents in Spain, grandparents and sister in Sweden and Carms being in NYC until Monday!

Anyway… I’ll let you know how everything goes, cross your fingers for me!

Feeling Ill.

Guys, I’m feeling really ill.

My headache just will not leave me alone! I am sick of it, literally!

So today we woke up and did our usual morning routine, breakfast, playing with the dog, change of clothes, you know, the usual. Then after we spent a bit of time out in the garden we went to the shop to buy some groceries, yay for food! I am super happy that military diet was done for this week, it’s been a hard one…

Anyway, whilst we were in the shop my headache kicked back in, but when we got home I took an Advil and hoped it would go away, after trying for two hours to just wait it out and realising it wasn’t happening I had to excuse myself and go to sleep for an hour and a half.. Sadly when I woke up I felt even worse, at this point it wasn’t only headache, i was feeling proper sick to my tummy… But C is here so I took some more Advil, cowgirled up and went to work for a few more hours. C and myself spent some time out in the garden, then we made dinner and watched Oz The Great And Powerful.

She’s just gone to bed and I will be doing the same, hopefully this will be gone by tomorrow since she’s here full day Sunday and Monday..

Hope your Saturday didn’t suck as much as mine did… Goodnight!

Very Long Day.

It’s been a long day peeps.

It all started at 9am when I woke up and got ready for C to come at 10am, she got here 15min early which ment I did not have time to do my squats and plank before she came over. We celebrated Teddy for a little while, did homework, played with the dog, played UNO, went to Pets At Home, she had a shower, we had lunch, we did some more homework, we watched some Mako Mermaids, she had tutors and when we got home it was dinner and bed time. It might not sound like much, but it’s been a long day.. And since it was raining we couldn’t be outside or take the dog for a long nice walk…

Anyway, she’s in bed now and I am going to do my squats and plank before editing tomorrows vlog for Carms. I super tired, like not in my body but mentally I am super tired..

Today was my last day with The Military Diet for this week which I am super happy about, yet another week bites the dust! 😀 Tomorrow we’re having Chicken Pie for dinner, sooo looking forward to that! 😀

Dreaming About Food.

I am so super hungry.

When I do The Military Diet my cravings usually kick in in the middle/end of the second day so they’re right on time. I feel like I want a juicy pepperoni pizza, or a jumy hamburger… Or just let me have some popcorn or cereal with Greek Yogurt! Cravings, so many cravings. But I’ll push through and make it, tomorrow is my last day and on Saturday I plan on making Chicken Pie for dinner #treats.

Anyway, I am going to go to bed soon. Yes, I know it’s only 9.30pm but I want to get as many hours sleep as possible before C gets back tomorrow. She’s going to be here Friday through Wednesday morning and she’s on holiday until Tuesday which means that Friday through Monday I’ll  be getting up at 9am and spending every moment of the day with her until 8/8.30pm and then Tuesday and Wednesday I’m up at 7.45am to get her to school. But again, she’s easy going and fun to be with so we’ll find something fun to do over the weekend!

Night night lovelies 🙂