No More Running.

Apparently I’m not invincible…

Since getting “diagnosed” or whatever you want to call it I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and my conclusion is that it sucks. I was getting used to going for runs every day and exercising every day and now I’ve actually been told by a doctor I can’t do it. It’s not just me telling myself that I shouldn’t, an actual doctor has said that I can’t so there’s no way around that..

Running is the one thing that has made me feel like I’m actually loosing some weight, like I’m getting closer to my goal, and now I can’t do that. Great.

Yes, I can still walk, and yes, I can go for bike rides, but it’s not the same. I don’t know how to explain it… When I run it’s just me, my body and my thoughts. It’s the time when I clear all my thoughts and put everything in to place, when I think about all the small details that bother me at nights before I fall asleep and I organise them and fix the small problems. When it’s only me and my body I’m the one that sets the limits, I’m the one that pushes harder or relaxes a bit more, me, no one else, just me. And now I can’t do that…

I stopped running 9 days ago. These 9 days have been the worst. I fal asleep much later at night, since Wednesday I’ve had this killer headache, all my thoughts are a mess and I basically feel fat. I don’t like this feeling!

Tomorrow I am calling the doctors first thing in the morning to get an appointment asap at the physiotherapists so I can fix this stupid Chondromalacia Patellae and get to running again.

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